eSCAping Type 1

“…I assume that’s also when they began pumping me full of morphine because I don’t actually fully remember the next week of my life.”

You see, for the first few days of me being sick, the local hospital ONLY gave me morphine. No antibiotics, no food, not even cough syrup, just a steady flow of narcotics. So, basically, while I externally looked like death, my drug-induced brain was busy living life!

So, in an attempt to lighten the mood (since I really scared the shit out of some people), here’s a brief account of Meg’s Morphine Dreams:

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First off, I was convinced my room was the entire, open, huge, stone-walled basement of the hospital… that doesn’t actually exist. So every “memory” I have somehow included that setting, which then aided in my belief that all of this actually happened.

 

– My sister and I were walking around a meadow carrying empty wooden baskets when all of a sudden a group of little kittens ran over and crawled into mine. “Oh, that means you’re the animal doctor!” Madi said. “You should go help that horse.” She pointed toward a pregnant horse lying down, about to give birth. I calmly walked over – like it was a normal, everyday thing – and pulled out the baby. Then I went back to my room at the hospital to shower and change. That’s when the entire hospital started singing to me. Like, each floor had a different verse. I remember thinking, “Wow, this is really bad. But they clearly put a lot of time and effort into this. And it’s for me, so I at least have to pretend I like it.”

 

– My mom, sporting an uncharacteristically high ponytail, drove me to a birthday party held in a small trailer home on a hill. When I walked in, there was a ride similar to The Haunted Mansion ride in Disney that everyone was already on. But the three men in charge of it were all poorly hiding pink shotguns. So, when they were in the other room getting the cake, I texted my mom to come back and get me. When she arrived she came inside. I stared at her, wide-eyed, thinking, “What is she doing?! They’re going to shoot us!!” But then she winked at me, showing she knew what was going on and had a plan…

 

– My family was all visiting me at the hospital, but my brother-in-law never came. When I asked my sister where her husband was, she shook her head and pointed to the TV on the wall. On the screen was a helicopter-view of our hospital, with a light shining on a nearby forest. She whispered, “He tried bringing you medical marijuana, but the guards here wanted to arrest him since he doesn’t have a license for it, so he ran.” I could then hear the helicopter outside. We watched as an FBI truck pulled up, and the agents all jumped out and ran into the woods…

 

This actually happened: I was on a computer video chat with a doctor. I couldn’t tell you who he was or why we were talking, and I thought this was happening in my basement room, so… All I remember is him asking me my name and birthday and then “OK, so where are you right now?” I answered, “New York” and he said “No.” He was trying to get me to be more specific, but I just remember immediately thinking, “Oh shit! Where am I? Where the hell did they take me?! They must have transferred me when I was sleeping…” I have no idea how the rest of the call went, but I assume not well since I was slightly distracted.

 

I thought the light on the wall of my room was a camera, so I would yell at anyone standing in the way of my photoshoot…

 

I thought the fire detector on the ceiling would make an excellent Christmas decoration and planned on taking it with me when I left…

 

I thought it was really important for me and my sister to FaceTime my group of friends even though I don’t have an iPhone, looked ghostly, and couldn’t actually speak. Thanks for still being my friend, guys…

 

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